


Missing You

by the_Mad_Majesty_of_Muchness



Category: Wicked - Schwartz/Holzman
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Light Angst, Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-15
Updated: 2016-07-15
Packaged: 2018-07-24 02:42:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,163
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7490082
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_Mad_Majesty_of_Muchness/pseuds/the_Mad_Majesty_of_Muchness
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Shortly after casting the spell to try and save Fiyero, Elphaba makes a discovery. Now, she has to find a way to cope with things on her own, all the while continuing to mourn the loss of her lover.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so this is going to start off kind of angsty, but I promise, it has a happy ending, so please don't form an angry mob and come after me with pitchforks and torches.

Elphaba sat in front of a window in one of the parlors of Kiamo Ko staring blankly outside. Her mind, like her heart, was both empty and full all at the same time. She was feeling so many different things at once—joy, sorrow, grief, anger, confusion...She was unable to latch onto just one. She didn't know what to do with herself anymore. Part of her wanted to just curl up in a corner and cry until her tear ducts were all dried up, part of her wanted to do nothing but die, part of her wanted to scream until she was hoarse, and still another part of her wanted to at least try to manage a smile, even if it was just a small one. She had suspected for nearly a week now, but she couldn't bring herself to make sure until just that morning. But she had finally made the potion, and when she spit in it, it had turned purple, which only confirmed what she had already known in her heart. 

She was pregnant.   
With Fiyero's child.

And it broke her heart to think that he would never know. This baby would never know its father, and it was all her fault. She hadn't been able to save him, and now he was dead. He wouldn't be there to hold her hand when she gave birth, wouldn't get to hold the baby, wouldn't get to do anything or be there to watch his own child grow up. Elphaba was going to have to do everything alone without any help or any clue how to go about things. 

She wasn't even sure she was fit to be a mother. She hadn't had one growing up to set an example for her, so she didn't have any idea how things should be done. She didn't know how to change a diaper, or swaddle a baby, or anything. Nanny had done all of that with Nessarose after Melena's death. And besides, she was the Wicked Witch of the West, for crying out loud. The most hated person in the entire country, Oz's number one most wanted criminal with no friends or allies to speak of. Fiyero had been the only person left in the entire world to still be on her side. With him gone, there was no one, not a single person, not unless she counted Chistery and the other Monkeys, but they weren't exactly cut out to be helping anyone care for a child. Being so hated and alone in the world, how could she even be sure that she would be able to protect her child from her numerous enemies? There was no guarantee that she would. 

And then, suddenly, a thought occurred to her. 

What if the baby was green? She wouldn't love it any less, of course, because it would still be her child, but it was a horrifying thought, nonetheless. Her skin had caused her such grief and torment over the years. She didn't want the same thing for her baby. The very idea of it was enough to almost make her sick. 

She placed a hand against her still-flat stomach as the tears slowly began to fall. In that moment, Elphaba made a silent vow, both to her unborn child and to Fiyero. That no matter what happened, she would love and protect this baby for the rest of her days. That from that moment onward, until she drew her final breath, she would do everything within her power to keep their child safe and make sure it knew how much she loved it, and how much its father would have loved it had he lived long enough to meet it. That she would never let the world take her away from her baby. It would be the two of them against the world, just as it had been with her and Fiyero for the short time they'd had together. 

And that was the long and short of it.


	2. Chapter 2

Over the next few weeks, Elphaba kept trying to figure out what to do with herself. She mourned for Fiyero, crying herself to sleep every night and wandering aimlessly though the castle halls during the day. She liked being in Kiamo Ko, but at the same time, she hated it. This was Fiyero's ancestral home. Being here helped her feel as if he were somehow still with her, and yet it simultaneously did nothing but remind her of the huge gaping hole left by his absence. She knew she would have to probably leave sooner or later, because she wouldn't be able to give birth by herself; she would need someone with her for that, and while she wished that that someone could be her child's father, she knew that it wasn't going to happen that way, so she would have to find someone else.

And then, one day, something remarkable happened.

There was a parlor in Kiamo Ko decorated mainly in various shades of blue. It was Elphaba's favorite room in the castle, because it reminded her of the string of blue diamonds tattooed down one side of Fiyero's torso, and she felt closest to him in that room. She was sitting in the windowseat of that parlor one day, curled up with a book, but not really seeing the words on the pages, and gently stroking the fur on top of Chistery's head as he perched beside her when she suddenly heard what sounded like a gaggle of screeching Monkeys. Frowning, she marked her place in the book and set it aside, then got up and went to investigate with Chistery following behind her. They followed the sound into the main entry hall, where a group of Chistery's fellow Monkeys were gathered in the rafters of the high ceiling, all of them making noise at once. Chistery jumped onto the railing at the top of the grand staircase where he and Elphaba stood and let out a shriek of his own, and the other Monkeys all fell silent. That was when Elphaba saw what had caused them to start screeching in the first place.

One side of the large double doors that led inside was open a bit, and in the dying afternoon light that was coming through from outside, she was able to make out a human form leaning against the other door. A male form, she realized. And not just any male form, but one that she recognized. Her eyes widened.

_"Fiyero!"_

She lifted her skirts and went rushing down the stairs, running straight over to him and falling to her knees beside him. He was breathing heavily and had the remains of a black eye and split lip. There were bruises and scrapes and cuts all over his body, and his clothes were dirty, his hair plastered to his forehead with sweat. He opened his eyes partway and smiled wearily at her. 

"Hey, gorgeous," he said weakly. 

She sobbed. 

"Oh, Yero...I thought I'd lost you, I thought..."  
"No, of course not. I ain't giving up on you that easy." 

She gently laid a hand against his cheek. 

"What did those bastards do to you?" she whispered.  
"I'll be fine, love, really. I've been much more worried about you."

"I'll take care of you, Yero, I'll make sure nothing gets infected and put bandages where you need them."

Fiyero furrowed his brow and studied her for a moment. She stared back at him with wide eyes and tear tracks on her face.

"Yero?" she said finally. "What is it, is something wrong?"  
"Nothing," he replied, "it's just...there's something...different...about you."

"Different how?"  
"I dunno, just...different."

"I...I don't understand."  
"You seem...happier, somehow."

"Happier? Fiyero, I've been miserable. I thought you were dead, I've been mourning you these last few weeks. I mean...I guess...I guess I've been a _little_ happy, but..."

"About what?"

"I...I don't know if I should tell you right now, I mean...you're in a pretty bad shape."  
"Fae, you can always tell me anything, it doesn't matter what's going on or how bad off I am."

She hesitated, biting her lower lip and avoiding his gaze. He reached over and put his hand beneath her chin, gently lifting her head so she was given no choice but to look at him. 

"Elphaba," he said, "please?"

She stared at him for a moment longer with huge brown eyes, then sighed heavily. 

"There's really no easy way to say this, so I guess I'll just come right out and say it. Fiyero, I...I'm pregnant."

He blinked a few times, not quite sure he'd heard her correctly.

"You...what, are you serious?"

"Yes. I just found out for sure a few weeks ago, not long after you were captured."

"...That night in the forest?" he asked.

She nodded.

He took a moment or so to absorb this new information. Elphaba was pregnant. She was carrying his child. He wasn't quite sure what exactly to make of this news. On the one hand, he'd always known he wanted to have a family of his own someday, and in truth, there was no one he would rather have it with than this beautiful woman who had captured his heart so completely. But their situation at the moment wasn't exactly...ideal...for raising a child. They weren't in the best of circumstances. She was the most wanted criminal in Oz, and he had been branded a traitor for running off with her. Still, he found that he couldn't bring himself to feel anything but overwhelming joy at this development. He was going to be a father, and not only that, but a father to _Elphaba's_ child. 

He smiled at her.

"Fae," he said quietly, "you have absolutely no idea how happy this makes me." 

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

"Yero," Elphaba said weakly. "Yero, bring him over here and let me see him."

Fiyero began moving towards the bed, an enormous smile on his face as he kept his gaze trained on the small bundle in his arms. He sat down on the edge of the mattress beside his lover and gently passed their newborn son over to her. A smile broke out across her face, and joyful tears filled her eyes. 

"Oh, Oz," she breathed. "He's beautiful. He looks just like you."  
"Oh, I dunno about that," Fiyero said. "I can see you in there, too." 

Elphaba's water had broken as she and Fiyero were preparing for bed, and the labor had lasted nearly twelve hours, but Fiyero had been there for his green girl every step of the way, helping her bring their child into the world. Finally, a newborn's cry had filled the room as Elphaba had collapsed back against the pillows in exhaustion, soaked in sweat. Fiyero had smiled and told her that the baby was a boy, her response to which had been a tired smile. After cleaning him off, Fiyero had swaddled his son in a blanket, and for a moment, just stood there holding him and staring at him in pure awe before Elphaba's request to see him. 

"What are we going to name him?" Fiyero asked.  
"I don't know," Elphaba replied. "Where's the list?"

Fiyero reached over to the nightstand and opened the drawer, pulling out a pad of paper that was inside. He looked over the list of name ideas that was written down on it, paying attention only to the boy and unisex names that weren't crossed off, but none of them really jumped out at him for some reason. 

"I dunno," he said thoughtfully. "None of these are really grabbing me, you know?"

"Let me see it," she said, holding her hand out. 

He gave it to her, and she glanced over it, then frowned. 

"You're right, I'm not noticing anything in particular, either."  
"Well, we can't just call him Kid, he needs an actual name."

Elphaba laughed lightly, and Fiyero flashed a lopsided grin. His gaze wandered from his lover down to his son, and an idea came to him suddenly. 

"What about Jaxom?" he suggested.

"Jaxom?" Elphaba echoed. "I've never heard that before, how did you come up with it?"  
"It's a Vinkun name. It comes from one of our ancient dialects, it means 'strong.' We could call him Jax for short."

Elphaba thought for a moment, silently mouthing the name to herself a few times, as if testing it out. She smiled. 

"It's perfect," she said. "What about a middle name?"  
"I picked his first name, so I'll let you pick his middle name."

There was a pause while she mulled it over. 

"Edemis," she said finally. "I think it means 'little wolf.'"

"So his name will be 'strong little wolf,' is that it?" Fiyero said teasingly.  
"I suppose that's one way to look at it, yes," Elphaba replied with a smile.

Fiyero grinned. 

"Alright," he said. "Jaxom Edemis Tigelaar. Welcome to the world, little guy."


End file.
